Your First Baby: Enjoy the Time While It Lasts

Having your first baby is the most precious ‘first’ of all! It is the first time you become a mom. But it is also the first time of many other ‘new mommy’ issues. Lack of experience turns most part of having a first baby into a worrying mill. And before you have enjoyed it to the fullest, the baby turns into a toddler or preschooler and you have another one on the way. My experiences taught me to enjoy the ‘new mommy’ phase while it lasts.

Having Your First Child

When you have your first child, it’s all uncharted ground. Every obstacle is encountered and overcome for the first time. Your kid doesn’t sleep, doesn’t eat, doesn’t poop. He has fluids coming out of his eye and the diaper rash is causing problems. All is fodder for the worry mill, so new mothers spend half their time worrying when, really, they should be sipping a latte and checking out online sales for cute baby stuff.

Easier Said Than Done?

True. I have had my share of babies throwing up on my clothes, pooping all over and crying due to colic. There are entire nights when they don’t sleep. But looking back at all of it after my third baby, I see the whole ordeal with a different perspective. I now have to deal with serious issues like loss of confidence due to to under performance, adolescence mood swings etc.

The poops and pees (especially when out of diapers for potty training) are still a pain, but there are ‘period stains’ and ‘serious sports injuries’ to attend to, as well. In comparison, looking after a newborn baby seems a breeze.

Newborn Babies are not a Hassle

Sure, they can cry and bring the house down, but give them a boob in their mouth and they shut up like magic. Unlike older kids who are practically impossible to please sometimes. New babies sleep almost all day. With older kids – the day simply does not end. Their schedules are so cramped that it takes a toll on you. And you can cart a baby everywhere! Just use a sling and a feeding cover and stuff a diaper bag and you are ready to go anywhere. With older kids, your routine has to be scheduled around theirs.

And if you dare take even a short vacation during school days, be prepared for a backlog of classwork more than 2 weeks of laundry. And if you do, be prepared to face their moods. They get tired easily when something is ‘boring’ for them. They can neither be carried or pushed around in a stroller. And of course, you need to always eat at restaurants that sell ‘kid friendly’ foods for a hefty price.

It Won’t Be the Same Ever Again

But here’s the crime: You don’t realize all of this until it’s too late; until your first baby is coming home with projects of all kinds to make (for you to make, that is!), and your second child has arrived on the scene. You will never have just one infant again, and you forgot to take advantage of it when you did.

Looking back at when I had my third baby. She wanted nothing more from life than a comfy place to rest her little head, an easy-to-access engorged breast and the occasional opportunity to play with her elder sister’s play gym that has been handed down to her after the first two had their share of it. In contrast, the older two want everything from the latest toy in the TV commercial to ‘vegan marshmallows’ that I don’t know where to find in India and luxury vacations to latest gadgets.

This Too Shall Pass…

As for me, experience has taught me that my baby’s tantrums will end after a little bit of attention and lots of distractions. That the rash on her cheek today will be gone tomorrow. I know that babies are supposed to get gassy and that eye drops will take care of the watering eyes. All of this means I enjoy her more and that my life is not anywhere near as stressful as it was when I had my first born. Now, I lie beside her when she is not feeling well and shop for a cute new pair of shoes or a hairband. I know for sure that she will be feeling fine by the time the stuff reaches me and there will be happy times again.

But all of this wisdom comes now – after I’ve added two more kids to the tribe. Sigh. The best I can do is ‘preach’ this education to all you new mommies reading this, and insist that you take advantage of the relative freedom of the early weeks and months of life with a first born.

But, of course, the world doesn’t work that way. You will suffer through the same anxieties that I did and that all first-timers do. An then you will curse lost opportunities when you have other children around and when you are more experienced and in a more relaxed frame of mind 🙂