Parenting a teenager can be an interesting experience. The teenage years are when children try to develop their identities and find some independence while parents try to ensure their growth and development. Being a foster carer to a teenager is the same as raising any other teenager. We have put together some helpful tips that, with additional support from your foster care agency, can help you foster teens better.
Photo by Nicole Michalou
Make the Home Welcoming
Many foster children have not had a stable home environment for some time, so you should provide one. Start by ensuring they have personal space, which should be their bedroom. Remember that teens have different needs from younger children and often crave independence and space.
Provide everything they need in their bedroom above the basics like bedding and a wardrobe for their clothes. Also, give them a home tour, showing them the most essential parts, like the bathrooms and kitchen. Doing so will help them know they are welcome in these areas and are free to roam them whenever they like.
Talk to Them
One thing many foster children have not had for a long time is someone to talk to and who understands them. Knowing how to talk and listen to a foster teen is crucial in helping them feel welcome and in helping them form bonds with the rest of the family.
Instead of asking too many questions, sit down with them and talk to them. If you are closing up, find an activity you can do together where they will be more open to talking. Situations where eye contact is not required, such as driving, gardening, or even going for a walk, are best for this.
Get Support When You Need It
Support is especially important for new foster carers who do not have much experience fostering teens. Foster care agencies like Fostering People provide support for foster carers who need it. Such support is geared towards making foster carers more confident in fostering.
Foster carers can get support through social workers assigned to them by the foster care agency or other foster carers living in their communities. Foster care agencies also arrange numerous meetings and events to create an environment where foster carers can meet others, network and form bonds that allow them to get the support they need when they need it.
Understand Where They are Coming From
Many foster children have been through traumatic experiences, and so they have complex emotions associated with these experiences. Their identities are also often shaped by these experiences. As a foster carer, you should understand and respect where they are coming from when they come into your home.
They might already have habits that do not fit what is expected in your home, which is fine. Developing an understanding will allow you to show and teach them what is expected of them so they can follow it.
As you can see, fostering teens is the same as parenting any other teen. You should try to understand them, listen to them, guide them on the best path and ensure they feel welcome and safe in your home.
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